Intimidation Part II

My last post tended to ramble a little bit and I think that I missed the point I wanted to make. So here goes round number two.

For the past few months, I have been working on creating my own Personal Learning Network (PLN). I subscribe to twenty-something blogs related, both directly or indirectly to teaching and business education. I also started using Twitter and mainly follow the same people there whose blogs I subscribe to. The main reason for all of this activity is to become more connected with teachers all over the US and the world.

But those connections cannot happen without action on my part. I haven't posted to Twitter for a few days now, and it's not because of the holidays. I just flat out don't know what to say. I feel very intimidated writing knowing that these very distinguished educators will be reading what I write. With Twitter, I feel out of the loop because I am not currently teaching. I feel something like a fraud. I also don't have a lot of classroom experience to help my form my opinions and thoughts on the various topics that come up in discussion either on Twiter or blogs. I have the same feeling with commenting. I read an excellent post by Chris Lehman and I clicked on the comments. I had some thoughts in my head on the topic, but then I just closed the tab to comment. I know that I need to just get over it and start writing, but I am having a hard time.

I have also read some contradictory tips about what to write on Twitter. The tips mainly centered on not writing about what you are doing, i.e. I just finished eating dinner. I also found out ny lurking on Twitter that a lot of teachers post links to helpful articles or tech tips. I did that for a while, but I recently stopped because I found that I was researching earticles to post to Twitter and that it took away time from other things and that using Twitter usually doesn't require research. Also by lurked, I have found that some/most of the people I follow do include updates on what they currently are doing. I have been considering posting on that as well, but again the intimidation creeps in and I think that what I am doing is really insignificant to the others that I follow.

The other cause of anxiety/intimidation when I write online for my PLN is that I don't believe that I will contribute enough to the conversation. In order for these other educators to want to include me in their PLN's requires me to contribute thoughful, meaningful contributions to the discussion at hand, and I don't think that I have enough knowledge to do that.

I guess that in order to get over all of these fears, I just have to go out and start doing, whether it is tweeting or commenting.

Intimidation

Ever since I finished student teaching, I have had some time on my hands. I have used that time to create and add to my Personal Learning Network (PLN). In hoping to add to my PLN, I joined Twitter. Over the past six months, I have heard a good deal about it and how useful/addicting it can be. I was initially skeptical because I thought that blogging was helpful, but didn't necessarily see the point of micro-blogging. I see that the power of Twitter, following other people and having others follow you, is essentially just like your own little PLN. Also knowing that a good amount of my students probably use it, I thought it would be helpful to be knowledgeable about this emerging way to connect with each other.

So I made up my mind that I was going to give Twitter a shot to see what is was all about. The signing up process was very quick and easy, but then came the hard part; the content. As I was considering joining Twitter, I also read up a lot on it, such as the do's and don'ts. One of the don'ts that stuck with me was to not just state what you are doing i.e. just finished dinner. I kept reading about making sure that you are providing value to the people who are following you, because who really cares that you are getting a cup of coffee. So after I started following the same authors of my blog roll, I now had to ensure that what I was posting was of value to these veteran Twitterers. I have a hard enough time coming up with ideas to blog about, let alone ideas to constantly post to Twitter. I know that I struggle as a writer getting the ideas and thoughts in my head onto paper, or the computer screen. I hope that one of the many benefits of blogging is to strengthen my writing ability, and I hope that Twitter does the same for me, albeit in a much shorter, to the point method.

As I have been using Twitter for a few days now, I have noticed a slight change in my behavior online. On my iGoogle page, I added a Twitter gadget to keep with my notworks tweets. Normally when I go to my iGoogle page, the first thing that I check was my Google Reader for any new blog posts. But suddenly, I am now scrolling down past my Reader box and going right to my Twitter box. The good news is that Twitter is living up to its billing as a tremendous place for resources. I currently follow about 20 people and I am having a hard time keeping up with it all. The good part is that a number of the people I follow are tweeting about links they find interesting. So I click on them and check them out. And then I read my Google reader. This is starting to take up a lot more of my time. In just a short time, I think that I am starting to suffer from some of the downsides to Twitter which is hyperconnectivity. Wes Fryer wrote an excellent piece about it the other day.

People on both the pro and con sides of hyperconnectivity say it will influence people’s health. While those who fear it say it will cause stress-related illnesses, those who welcome it say the flexibility it offers may improve mental health.

I’m with those who predict more health-related problems with hyperconnectivity than helps. Look how we’re struggling now to keep up with email, SMS messages, blog posts, and other news-related media streams? Discipline is hard. I think digital discipline is only going to get more challenging in the months and years ahead.

From page 132:

HYPERCONNECTIVITY WILL CREATE UNREALISTIC WORK EXPECTATIONS AND STRESS, AND INTRUDE ON LIVES - Many people see hyperconnectivy as a threat. Among the hundreds of elaborations provided by the respondents, only a few people perceived that blending work and personal time would tilt people’s lives toward more time for family, friends, and personal pursuits.

This finding has BIG implications for our need for both digital discipline and digital dialog.

I can't agree with this more and I believe that in addition to teaching our students how to connect with the world properly, we should also teach them how to disconnect with the world as well. The only good that came of this is that when I teach digital discipline going forward, I will have a real life story to go along with it.

I realize that I have only been using Twitter for just a few days now, and that I will start to get the hang of it and will stop being so intimidated.

Frustrated

I have been struggling lately to verbalize all of the thoughts about teaching from my head onto paper; or virtual paper. For the past week or so, I have been working on my digital portfolio, or e-folio. During that time, I have had to write a considerable amount about my teaching philosophy, my teaching ideals, etc. It is a little embarrassing to admit, but I have had a hard time putting my vision to words. Writing has never been my strong suit, but I have always been able to do a decent job.

I started this blog for many reasons but one of them was to strengthen my writing. I also feel that this whole exercise of creating and adding to my e-folio will also enhance my writing skills, but that is down the road. In the here and now, I am very frustrated with the slow going.

I was very excited to create my own personal website to showcase myself to potential suitors, but I think that I was excited about the idea, not necessarily the creation of said website. Adding the text that explains my vision as an educator has proved to be very difficult for me. The only good thing is that hopefully this challenge will prepare me for job interviews.

I think that the frustration lies in the fact that I see so many wonderful examples of people expressing their own educational philosophies so well on the web. I read these posts, become motivated to create my own, and then sit at the keyboard for long periods of time suffering from writers block.

Maybe it has to do with the fact that I am oftentimes pulled into numerous directions due to all of the blogs that I subscribe to. Like I said above, they provide plenty of motivation, but I think that they often complicate and muddle the overall picture that I am trying to create for myself. I have often questioned myself about the adequate number of blogs that a teacher should subscribe to. When I was student teaching, I had trouble keeping up with my Google Reader. I wondered if I was spending too much time reading blog posts and not enough time planning and creating for teaching. With the technology still so new and everyone feeling their way through it, I think that everyone will have to find their own balance.

Well, this has been a meandering post, but has also been therapeutic as I have been continually typing and letting the ideas just flow. Hopefully, this will cure my writers block and allow more of the ideas to come naturally.

Using Humor

While I was finishing up my last week of student teaching, I had some time during my prep periods to go and observe other teachers in the building. One of my cooperating teachers made a list of the teachers that she thought was worth observing. So I went around to four different teachers in various subject areas and observed them at their craft. These four observations were so incredibly more helpful and beneficial than the numerous hours I spent observing for my Practicum II experience. It largely has to do with the fact that I now see things through a different lens now that I have actually taught for 14 weeks. There are so many little things that I pick up on now that I didn't before. My main concern before was logging the hours necessary to pass the Practicum and try to defy boredom from a teacher who lectured for 90 minutes straight (and I had to observe him back to back). But now I can spot how the teacher gets the class' attention, what they do with the troublemaker, how they introduce a new topic, etc. This has been so beneficial that I am going to observe at the other high schools in my district.

As I was observing these four teachers, across different subject areas, one thing in particular stood out to me. All use humor in the classroom, and do so incredibly well. As a result, they all have a classroom full of engaged students. Each teacher used humor in a slightly different way, but all had the same effect. One was a smart alack, another used pop culture references, and the other two were sarcastic. I think this use of humor blends seamlessly with how intense they are when teaching. I realized some differences with how I present information and how they do. In addition to using humor, they also are loud and animated. I can easily see why they have the great reputation that they do.

Using humor is something that I tried to incorporate into my bag of teaching tricks. Some of the time it worked but more often than not, it didn't. I realize that some people are born funny and a large part of being funny is your personality. But I think that I was starting to find my place in the classroom and could be starting down that path to being an engaging teacher. I enjoyed some of the back and forth that I had with a few of my students. The funny part is that the keynote speaker at the IBEA conference spoke about how to incorporate humor into teaching. As I sit here and reflect on my student teaching experience, it dovetails nicely with my experience at the IBEA conference.

Seeing these teachers in action motivated me to make humor a much bigger part of my instruction.

What doesn't kill you....

I am done with Student Teaching; the fourteen weeks are over. It was quite the ride; full of ups and downs. It seems like I just started and now it's over. (Technically, it ended last Tuesday, but I have been so busy until now that I haven't had the time to post about it.) And I still have papers to grade and a test and review guide to write, but as far as the teaching goes, I am finished.

It is definitely a bittersweet moment for me. On the one hand, I am glad to be done with the time-suck known as lesson plan creation and all of the stress that it created. But on the other hand, I really miss the actual act of teaching the students. I finished teaching on Tuesday and on Wednesday, I was in a funk. It took me a few days to figure it out, but I believe it is because I am no longer able to interact with and lead a hundred teenagers.

...Makes you stronger
This was my mantra I kept saying to myself the last few weeks. My cooperating teachers definitely made it difficult for me, but I feel like I will be a better teacher as a result. In two of my three preps, I had to fill the last month and a half with material that I created myself and I couldn't use anything that either of my cooperating teachers used. There were plenty of moments when I was so frustrated and upset with them. But I know that that is how my first year of teaching is going to be like. I want to have the classes be my own and the only way for that is to do everything yourself. I went out for a few drink with some of the other teachers and I was talking to a first year teacher. I told her what was required of me and she told me that she was doing the same thing right now. So I feel better prepared for my first year. Talking with other student teachers in my college program, I am a little ahead of the pack in that regard. I think it is also something I will bring up on job interviews as well, to try and separate myself from everyone else. I am glad that my cooperating teachers had high standards for me and didn't let me take the easy way out and just use their materials. (I hope to replicate these high standards for my students.)

The best part was that I had an opportunity to say all of this to my cooperating teachers before they left on Tuesday. And they also returned the nice praises as well. It was nice to hear that the hard work was worth the effort.

IBEA Conference

I had first heard about this conference from another student at my college. He invited me to go along with him. I thought it would be a great experience to attend the Illinois Business Education Association's annual conference. I was lucky enough to have already attended a teacher conference before. My brother presented at a conference last year and he snuck me in. As a result, I was constantly comparing the IBEA conference to the one I went to last year. I have to say, IBEA didn't stack up well at all.

It took us forever to get down to Effingham from Chicagoland. From car trouble to rain to fog, it was all a bad omen for things to come. The conference started off poorly for me as the first presentation I went to ended up being nothing like the description in the booklet. The presenters broke every rule of PowerPoint presentations, which might be ok elsewhere, but not in a room full of business educators who teach proper presentation etiquette (i.e not reading directly off the screen). Most of the presentations I attended were this way. I felt bad constantly telling Jon how the conference I went to last year was so much better. The food for dinner Thursday night was really bad. It was a Jimmy Buffet theme, so I understood why we we served cheeseburgers, but they were not edible in the least. At least they gave us plenty of drink tickets. Friday, I did manage to see a worthwhile presentation about Microsoft Expression Studio. It sounds very promising and something I want to investigate further. The last session I went to was for new professionals. It was supposed to be more like a round-table discussion, but it ended up mainly being the four presenters providing us with tips and advice.

The other main reason why I wanted to go was the networking opportunities. The problem with going to the conference with someone is that you don;t really talk to anyone else. We ended up having dinner with some other Young teachers from downstate. So were all very nice, but I don't see any networking opportunities resulting from it. However, I was definitely glad that In had Jon there to commiserate with.

I am thinking about attending the NBEA conference because it will be here in Chicago. I just hope it won't be like the IBEA conference.

Going to State!!!

I want to add a quick post about the tremendous cross-country team at my school.  Both the boys and girls teams have qualified for the state meet next week in Peoria.  I couldn't be happier for both teams because I have personally seen all of the hard work they have done throughout the season and they definitely deserve to go.  

On a personal note, I am just as excited because I never made it to state in my high school career.  I can't wait to soak up the incredible atmosphere at the state meet and also experience all that is entailed in taking a team on an overnight trip like the state meet affords.  Hopefully we will come home with some hardware, either on the team side or the personal side.  Stay tuned!!!